Fantasmo the 13th

Some time ago in the early days of this venerable, historic, eponymous blog, I posted an item on the upcoming January Fantasmo. I'm sorry to say this turned out to be fairly false, as the upcoming installment will not be a requiem for the Friday the 13th before it is befouled by Michael Bay and his minions, but instead a nightlong wallow in humorous Austrailian zombie carnage. Even better, right? Yes, but some of us needed this, a fond farewell to Jason and his honest string of dependably mediocre slashers before they are supplanted by the misanthropic ugliness of Bay-sanctioned muckupery.

Have no fear, horror fans. On February 6, a mere week before the shady remake whose only redeeming aspect is its release date, Fantasmo will take us on a whirlwind journey through the resonant original trilogy. These three films tell the archetypical story of Jason's mom killing several teens, then Jason doing the same later, then Jason doing it again the next day and stealing a hockey mask (yeah, it took him 3 movies to work out his look).

Did you ever see a the best history show ever, Connections? James Burke would illustrate how several series of discrete events, ideas, and advancements would converge to make possible historical scientific revolutions. Well consider this series of connections: In the year 1983, several film franchises were hitting their second sequel. Springing with a novel, entertaining idea out of the late '70s, these movies were by now entirely devoid of new ideas or a compelling reason to continue their respective sagas. A mere few years earlier, however, one of the best titles the world had ever seen, Comin' at Ya!, re-invigorated a hoary cliche and intoduced new technology making cheap, poorly made 3-D possible. Hence, audiences of 1983 were treated to titles such as Amityville 3-D and Jaws 3-D.

Which brings us back around to Fantasmo. The big Friday the 13th night has been delayed to take advantage of some new DVD releases set to take advantage of the new movie release. Not only will the uncut version of the first Friday (which, ironically, has a lot more cutting in it) screen, but the third movie, which as a film is totally irrelevant, other than that hockey mask thing, will play in 3 Middling Dimensions! So lets take a walk back to 1983, when eyeballs and yo-yos both popped out of the screen at you!

Betsy Palmer Does Fantasmo

Just received word from Jim Blanton of Fantasmo Cult Cinema Explosion, the Chesapeake Central Library heroes keeping the area safe for free, hard-R genre screenings in public buildings. In January, they will be running a double feature of Friday the 13th and Friday the 13th Part 2, the enormous hit that captured America's heart by answering some of nagging questions left open at the end of the original, while raising some tantalizing enigmas of its own. Anyway, turns out its Jason in Part 2 (as is also the case in 3-4,6-X, and Freddy vs. Jason, which was far more entertaining than Kramer vs. Kramer and far less entertaining than Ali vs. Frazier).

The exciting bonus feature for this event will be a live phone interview with Betsy Palmer, who in her quest to shoot a few days on a low budget slasher film to finance a used car, wound up stealing the movie with her inspired and deranged performance as Jason's mom. It was either Betsy Palmer for Friday the 13th or Sissy Spacek for Coal Miner's Daughter who won the Academy Award for Best Actress that year, I forget which. The last time I saw a phone interview at Fantasmo, I had the pleasure of listening to insightful, hilarious internet film scholar and Seagology expert Vern offer detailed analysis of the themes in Steven Seagal's filmic canon through one of those voice changers you saw in Scream.

This is perhaps an important local event for anybody who needs a cathartic requiem for the Friday the 13th series. In February, the franchise will undergo the most dire fate any horror movie can go through, having an unneccesary remake produced by Michael Bay. I don't have the same affection for Friday the 13th as some of the other movies Bay has already ruined such as The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, but I honestly don't see how his ultrahack touch can improve these early entries, which bear their own cheap, handmade charm. Trivia-wise, I believe the first two Fridays are the only ones not to feature a hockey mask, which is apparently all over the remake.